i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
