Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
