Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
