Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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