my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
