she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
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I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
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I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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