Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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