How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
