When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
