My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
