So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
tell me about the fingering
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