What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
