somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You need a sexual gate keeper
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
