she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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