and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
