Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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