Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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