I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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