Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize