my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I look excited, but its just a facade.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
