he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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