he puts the penis in happiness.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
