How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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