dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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