his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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