She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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