Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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