Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
