hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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