ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
