Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
