I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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