and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
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Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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and you fell through a lawn chair
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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