Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize