the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
