cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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