i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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