So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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