It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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