I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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