I want to make a zoo with you.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
