i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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