One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
