i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
