dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
