i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
