I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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