I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
