508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
