I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
