This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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