I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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