Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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