my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize