Jerry, you need to find god
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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