then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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