I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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