Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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