I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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