i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
