Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
