Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
