I met the friendliest cop last night
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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