i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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