I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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